5 tips for developing a positive mental attitude (text version)

Everybody wants to be happy and successful in life. However, many (I would dare say most) are not. A lot of this has to do with the attitude people have towards life, and their attitude towards others and finally themselves.  In particular, a lot of people are of the mindset of being a helpless victim to life. Something might have gone wrong and they feel as though life is against them, or perhaps they feel as though they are in a rut. Whatever the reason, our victim of life is often depressed, feeling a great sense of self-pity and negativity. They may even be angry with themselves and towards others. Unfortunately, this is a terrible negative feedback cycle. It is also pointless – being angry at the world and feeling sorry for yourself will achieve nothing.

What you need to do is develop a positive mental attitude – a positive outlook towards life. Only when you have a positive outlook can you start working towards a happier life. In fact, I would go as far as saying that is you have a positive mental attitude that it is almost impossible to fall back into the above terrible cycle. And good things will start to happen, replacing that negative feedback cycle with a positive feedback cycle.

Everybody has goals and aspirations in life. To be able to achieve such goals, one needs the right tools. Although some required tools may be specialist skills in a particular field, often the most powerful tools are also the most generic and versatile tools. A positive mental attitude is one of these ‘power-tools’, and can be wielded to achieve your dreams and desires in life. There are five aspects to consider to achieve a positive outlook on life. Here we have a brief summary of these five facets, and some easy tips to help you keep on top of these different aspects to achieve this change in attitude.

1. Health
2. Perspective
3. Appreciation
4. Social Environment
5. Emotional Monitoring

1. Healthy living (you are what you eat)

I can never stress the importance of healthy living enough – if there was a position before number one, I would put it there! Lets face it, if you always feel tired, sore and hungry, chances are that you won’t be feeling very positive! Healthy living involved diet as well as exercise: you need both to feel good. Drinking lots of coffee and energy drinks (read: Red Bull) and eating foods with high sugar content such as sweets will put you on a roller-coaster ride of energy levels and mood changes. It is difficult to have a positive attitude towards like when you are having a massive sugar and caffeine crash! Cut down on your coffee-habit. Try to replace sweets with fresh fruits and nuts.  Eating natural foods that are not highly processed will help your body maintain a stable release of energy, avoiding those lows. Also, if your feeling a little tired and down, do some exercise!! It might sound counter-intuitive, but going for a 30 minute walk or a short run can really put your body back into gear and help clear your mind.

As I mentioned, healthy living really is an important factor for developing a positive mental attitude, but it is also one of the hardest, requiring mental discipline. To help you with this, we have an introduction to mental discipline article.

2. Perspective (the good, positive kind!)

Something that is very important in cultivating a positive mental attitude is the ability to apply a positive perspective to your life. People on the whole seem to find it a lot easier to amplify the negatives of a situation, and dampen the positive. This happens as we tend to look at a situation ‘head-on’, when what we really should be doing is looking at the situation from the viewpoint of an objective observer, weighing the positives and negatives. What we are trying to do here is the equalise this imbalance. You will be surprised how very often something you consider to be an insurmountable setback turns out not to be so! By applying perspective, what we are looking at here is to take a situation or event that is happening in your life and analyse it, being sure to strip any negative prejudice you may have.

The next time you have a setback, be it small or major, take a step back from the situation. Write down the pros and cons. Try to list three things you could do to turn this negative into a positive. For example, imagine you recently applied for a job promotion at your work, but were turned down. Obviously, the con is that you didn’t get the new position. But what of the pros? Approach your employer and ask why you were turned down. You have now cashed in on your experience and turned it into information. This information is priceless – you have just obtained an honest and objective opinion of your progress in your career. Now, what can we do to turn this negative into a positive? Well, if you find the promotion was turned down because you’re lacking in a particular skill-set, you might view this event as a skill-defining procedure and decide to obtain further qualifications in the area. We’ve taken a negative experience and, by applying perspective, turned it into positive action!

Having a positive perspective allows you to look at an event/situation and weigh the positives and negatives, and use it as a way of enthusiastically moving forward instead of looking backwards in dismay. The best thing about applying perspective is that it’s an all-encompassing step: it is as important and effective to apply perspective to the small, everyday events in your life as it is to apply perspective to those events that are major.

3. Appreciation (for yourself, and others)

Having appreciation in your life is also important for a positive mental attitude. It can really help you to focus on the positive aspects of your life and your interactions with others. Having appreciation in your life means having an appreciation for what you have. The past is past and there is nothing you can do to change it. Brooding on negative experiences and past mistakes does not and can not achieve anything – all it can do is bring you down. Focusing on what you have in the now however can be a very empowering exercise! Take a good look at your current position in life. Instead of concentrating on the ‘missed opportunities’ of the past, look at what you DO have. Look at all your achievements, your sources of support, and look at the sources of joy in your current life. This can include absolutely anything: your job, your friends, family, the goals you have achieved… anything!

Another important thing is to SHOW your appreciation for others. If there is somebody in your life that you believe is a positive influence on your life in some way, be it as a mentor, somebody who supported you through a difficult time, or simply a close friend: let them know! If you wanted, you could take this person out to dinner, or to the movies, or buy them a small gift. You could simply write them a card or letter and let them know that they are appreciated. All of these options are powerful gestures, and have the benefit of making both yourself and the recepient feel good: This is a positive feedback loop and is great for developing a positive attitude!

4. Social Environment (positivity begets positivity)

One of the most important facets of a positive attitude is your social environment. People always say that ‘you are what you eat’, and to a degree it is true: if you eat healthy food, you will be healthy; eat fatty foods, you will probably end up overweight. Something else that very important is that the people you associate with WILL affect your mood and attitude. It’s true, negative people tends to hang out with other negative people. Quite often a source of conflict between yourself and another is that there is something about the other person that ‘gets’ to you. That person is bothering you as they are exhibiting a trait or quality that you do not like; possibly they are rude or lazy, perhaps they tend to lie or have some other negative trait. If somebody makes you feel like this, you should consider limiting the time you spend with them. A trap many people get into is that they feel a responsiblity to help the other person grow, whereas the reality is that it isn’t: the only person that can change somebody is themselves.

The important thing to note is this: Spending time with positive people will make you are more positive person. It will influence your personal character and attitude.

5. Emotional monitoring (keep your moods in check)

Moods have a tendency to spiral out of control, and are vulnerable to feedback loop effects: bad moods are especially vulnerable. One of the reasons many people get drawn into a negative attitude is because they are not aware that they are there in the first place, and then it is too late, they are stuck in the spiral. Most of them are not even aware that they are in this self-destructive mindset! The fact that you are still reading this article, and have made it to this section, means that you are probably aware that there is something wrong: this is a major and important step. The next step is to start applying all of the above tips, and KEEP MONITORING YOURSELF. If you find yourself dropping back into that loop of negativity, you need to step back and change your activity. Do something that makes you happy, or change your activity to one that will divert your attention. Once you are out of that mood, you can evaluate your current situation (in perspective of course) and make the necessary changes.

Related posts:

1. 5 Tips for a Positive Mental Attitude. Part 1 of 5: Healthy Living
2. Three demotivating personalities to avoid
3. Mental Discipline an introduction
4. Giving positive and constructive criticism
5. How to stop worrying